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Cerberus the mascot
Bar Harbor
alexx_kay
Paraphrased discussion from last night. kestrell and I were talking about the horrors of bureaucracy, especially as applied to airport security.
K: They'll bite your head off *and* cut you off at the knees! Simultaneously!
A: Big mouths.
K: I was thinking multiple mouths, actually.
A: Multiple big mouths.
K: Maybe just two. I don't think they deserve comparison to Cerberus.
A: No, wait! That's a brilliant idea! Cerberus would be the perfect mascot for the TSA! He's all *about* security theater; he looks big and impressive, but the stupid hero *always* gets past him. Name *one* instance where Cerberus actually stopped someone getting into Hades.
K: All you need is a blood-soaked piece of cake.
A: Hell, Orpheus *sang* his way past. Even his modern-day mythical descendant, Fluffy, totally failed to be an effective security system.

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A correction and an addition:
1. I said, "They can bite your head off and bit you in the butt simultaneously,"
and
2. You also mentioned that Fluffy, in the Harry Potter series, was equally multi-headed and muddle-pated in its er, effectiveness.

Upon first glance I thought you said Cerebus. That makes for a very different picture of airport security.

Just what I was thinking. And much more dangerous.

There are at least a *few* cases where Cerebus has been effective at his security goals :)

I didn't say dangerous to whom :-)

Shouldn't that be "airport kitchen staff"?

That was my first reading as well. Very strange image of people trying to get past a pissed-off Most Holy...

Well, I like it, but I don't think they'd get the joke...on them!

Selective reporting

Name *one* instance where Cerberus actually stopped someone getting into Hades.

They don't tell the stories of the guys that didn't make it...mostly because the witnesses are all, well, dogmeat.

Come to think of it, though, Cerberus can't keep a determined mortal from getting into Hades. The most he can do is kill them—which sends them straight to Hades anyway.


Re: Selective reporting

They don't tell the stories of the guys that didn't make it...mostly because the witnesses are all, well, dogmeat.

There are certainly potential story-types that would leave witnesses. Think of the final fates of Arthur and Beowulf.

keep a determined mortal from getting into Hades. The most he can do is kill them—which sends them straight to Hades anyway.

Well, it sends their shade to Hades. The "mortal", didn't make it there *as* a mortal, which is I think the point.

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