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Joining the latest bandwagon
Bar Harbor
alexx_kay
If you comment, and I can ...

1. I'll respond with something I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you, if I have such a thought.
8. If I do this for you, please post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people

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1. Your love of wordplay.
2. Amazon Women on the Moon.
3. What we did 3 visits ago, only moreso ;)
4. "What's for dinner?"
5. First clear memory would be of the Fox & Geese game, although I have a *very* strong memory of the cloved lemon that followed a bit later :-)
6. "In my hovel, books are definitely in as decor: as wall-coverings, table-coverings, bed-coverings, under-the-bed-surprises, what's-this-under-the-cushion, and of course, cat perches." --Lisa Chabot
7. Can't think of one I haven't asked already. Thanks for answering them.

5: That's when you stepped out of the background for me, also. Hence the lemon.

1. The way you react to jokes at your expense.
2. Hmmm... coming up blank, I'm afraid.
3. A visit together some time when Meredith is Doing Tea.
4. "Having Michael be a hand-puppet *is* pretty funny, but I don't think we should actually use it in the show."
5. Buying an evening in your hot tub as part of some benefit auction.
6. "You are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic."
"No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic."
7. What caused your first marriage to end?

Bet you gave up on me, huh?

1) Thanks! Er... I think. Do I react in an unusual way, or do I just receive plenty of opportunities for reaction?

3) That does sound delightful! I hope we get to do that.

4) Alternately hopeful and depressed. But I'm trying to cut back on my whining.

What caused my first marriage to end... We were both inexperienced, to start with (we were each other's first lovers, and married young: me 19, Glenn 24), but that's not unusual, especially throughout history. It took me years to begin to understand why my marriage ended, myself. Perhaps a metaphor would be helpful: My marriage was a boat, well equipped with love, intelligence, etc... and for the first ten years or so we had such smooth sailing, with the wind always filling the sails and pushing us briskly forward, that we thought that was just the way it would always be. When the wind changed and sailing got harder, with a few storms thrown in, we didn't notice for a while, (or were in denial,) and by the time we realized we were in a gale, we had no experience with handling such rough weather: We didn't know how, and though at different times we each tried bailing out the boat, we didn't take coordinated or effective action, and it sank.

We were both so angry at each other during the last couple of years, that it was masking our love for each other. While I was first desperately trying to save our marriage, Glenn's attention was elsewhere, and I came to the point where I gave up on the marriage, and worked on reconciling myself to the fact that I was going to be single. I eventually succeeded, and found emotional support from other lovers. Then Glenn broke up with his other lover, decided that he wanted to work on our marriage, but that first I had to give up my other lover, too. I was not willing to do that: I hadn't required him to give up his lover to work on our marriage, and I was getting all of my emotional support from my other relationship. I didn't want to give that up to work toward what seemed unlikely to be a successful outcome. I knew I still loved Glenn and wanted our marriage to work, but I, for one, just could not see how I'd ever want to sleep with him again. And how could one have a marriage without wanting sex? (I'd been surprised and bewildered to learn that Glenn could be quite angry with me, yet still want to have sex with me. I've since come to believe that men often have that attribute, while it's rare for women.) I was conflicted, but if Glenn had been willing to work with me without requiring me to give up Steve first, I would have done so. And if I'd had any inkling that it was possible to rekindle romantic love and erotic attraction after it had died down, I might even have done what Glenn asked. But I had never seen that happen in life. I've since learned from psychology self-help books (such as 'Getting the Love You Want') that rekindling erotic love is quite possible.
I've now been divorced for just about as long as I was married. If I'd known then what I know now, I would probably still be married. I miss Glenn. And I'm still somewhat angry that we didn't manage to find any help from psychologists and marriage councilors.


Re: Bet you gave up on me, huh?

Oops. That third comment went with #6, not #4.

Re: Bet you gave up on me, huh?

1. Well, when you were dating Kevin, you had plenty of opportunity; after that, more intermittently :) It's the combination of attempted outrage and uncontrollable laughter that's so appealing.

Thanks for the history.

I'd been surprised and bewildered to learn that Glenn could be quite angry with me, yet still want to have sex with me. I've since come to believe that men often have that attribute, while it's rare for women.

Yeah, that tracks. I think it's a bad *idea* to have sex with someone I'm angry with, but, as a Boy, I often still *want* to.

I miss Glenn.

Got contact info? He'll be a different person by now, but he might be one worth being friends with...

Re: Bet you gave up on me, huh?

I'd like to be friends with Glenn, but he doesn't want to be friends with me, unfortunately. He told me so the last time I spoke to him, which was about 10 years ago. I don't have terribly up-to-date contact information on him, but I think I could get in touch with him if I needed to.

BTW, Will sent you an email, hoping that your characters for Caleb's' gurps game could be friends or associates of some sort. I hope you don't mind, but I think Will has a bit of adolescent hero-worship toward you.

Re: Bet you gave up on me, huh?

Mind? With my level of self-esteem, getting some hero-worship every once in a while is very welcome indeed! I saw his email before yours, and have already replied positively; our two character concepts seem to mesh quite naturally.

1. Your firm defense of language.

2. ... nope, coming up blank.

3. Play Scrabble.

4. Well, for *just* the two of us, I've got nothing. For a slightly larger circle: "You don't have to explain about the peril, we get it."

5. Some party of kestrell's, but I don't remember which.

6. "The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." --James D. Nicoll

7. Do you sometimes wonder if you were a changeling?

Hee! That really is a good quote. It popped up this week on one of the grammar communities I belong to. Someone there accused Nicoll of being dead, so he randomly showed up to defend his vitality. How he knew we were talking about him, I don't know, since he's not a member of the community, but it was funny.

Swapped by elves at birth, eh? I'm sure sometimes my parents would like to think so, but alas I've never been able to doubt my parentage. I look and act too much like my father for that. That's a significant part of why we don't get along, but I don't think it's entirely as simple as that.

Nicoll's blog (james_nicoll) is very amusing, and thus has a wide readership. Presumably someone who *is* part of the community in question reported the mis-reference. It's his most famous quote by far, though it often gets misattributed in one way or another.

Am I too late for the party? (spent so much mental effort answering you on my LJ, I clean forgot to come comment on yours)

Not so long as LJ emails comments (which it (mostly) does).

1. Your ability to expound on almost any topic with infectious enthusiasm.
2. None leap to mind, though there are *lots* of stories that remind me of you. The Polar Bear one, especially :)
3. The answer that leaps immediately to mind is one I should probably not post in public, so I'll stick with the rather safer "Role-playing".
4. It's good to understand the relative value of "reading aloud".
5. At some SCA event, back in the mid-80's, during a feast (in some church basement), someone said "Uncle Kale, tell us a story!" And you did, at some length. That had a lot to do with the shape of my subsequent SCA career...
6. "Our strength is as the strength of ten, because there are ten of us."
-- THE NET BOOK OF RPG ONE-LINERS
7. How did you discover the SCA?

6. "Our strength is as the strength of ten, because there are ten of us."
-- THE NET BOOK OF RPG ONE-LINERS


"My strength is as the strength of 10, because I've paid no points!" - GURPS-specific variant, much on my mind recently :-)

7. How did you discover the SCA?

I'm afraid it's about as ordinary a story as possible: I saw this flyer in the dining hall, advertising this recruiting meeting for this medieval club on campus.... And the rest is, as they say, history.

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